For those who are curious as to why I decided to step down from a leadership position on evthreads and evclub, and I can’t imagine who would be, I’ll now attempt to cobble together some words that might be sufficient to explain.
I’d been on the ledge for awhile now. All I needed was a little nudge to push me over the edge, and that nudge came this past week. The wheels came off the Evanescence bus, and chaos reigned supreme on the fan message boards since last Friday. I’ve grown weary of the drama; my tolerance to suffer the daft is not what it used to be.
The small windows I had into the underbelly of the music industry removed the illusions I’d created in my own mind about how the music we all love and live to hear is made. Sometimes that process isn’t appealing or nice, and it all came to a head.
When you can no longer see the goal for which you are working, it’s time to change what you’re doing – for the good of all involved. I honestly hope that Amy Lee continues to make music and that it’s appealing to me and at least some segment of the music consumer culture. I hope she and all those who are and have been around her find happiness and peace.
I’ve made some fantastic friends through this gig, and I’ve got no plans on leaving them alone or behind in any sense. They are, in fact, the touchstones that I kept coming back to in my deliberations on whether I should carry on or not.
I’ll end this post with a quote that helped me find clarity in this whole situation. Perhaps it can be of use to some of you either now or at a time uncertain in the future.
Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.
~ Thomas Merton