All things in this worldly existence
That are colored by attachment and aversion
Are in reality devoid of any existence.
When this is seen, everything is seen as golden.
When we meditate upon the illusion-like nature
Of all illusion-like phenomena,
We attain illusion-like enlightenment.~ Dakini Niguma, sung to Tibetan yogi Khyungpo Naljor in a charnal ground, 1th Century A.D., India (trans. Glenn Mullin)
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“I want to heal you,I want to save you from the dark” -Amy Lee
I read that Nietzsche qoute the other day “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster”
And I felt a huge weight lifted from me. Especially when that quote was in context with a discussion of the spiral of attachment, aversion and apathy. I’m not a monster.
I had never heard “Give Unto Me” until tonight…Here we go again:Why can I not escape this!!!Why does she hold such sway over my spirit.
Whenever I pursue a painting uninspired by Amy I feel superficial and lackluster then when I turn back to her I feel aversion and selfishness…my entire artistic existance is becoming a new definition of cliche.
All the while I again feel like I have said something in the last e-mail that upset her or turned her off…
I don’t care about the album art.
I don’t want the way between us unspoken and then shut forever.
Maybe I want to hear just from her that I don’t matter. That would be like a ray of black light.