Blog

Revelation

The profound power (and danger) in being a parent is the awesome opportunity to instill core values in your children that they won't dare question until they are much older, if ever.  How convinced am I that I am on the “right” path?  How certain am I that I'm not damning my sons to years of misconception and strife?

Little One Lost

Tragedy struck close to home yesterday. We found out that one of Heather's best friends lost her baby boy at the 38th week. He was due to on September 15th, but his heart stopped beating in utero on Tuesday. The friend had the hardest time getting pregnant with this one. She suffered a few miscarriages along the way, but we thought this one was going to be OK since it lasted so long.

While this is a horrible thing to happen to our friends, it is a blessing in disguise for me. It jolted me into appreciating my own kids that much more when I contemplate that in the very next moment, one or all of them could be gone; or for that matter, I could be gone. There is a wisdom teaching that says the way to live your life is to live as if death were right around the corner. Because it is really. None of us knows when our time will come, and we should all live accordingly.

Musicology

So Heather and I went to see Prince last night.  The show was phenomenal.  The horn section was tight beyond belief.  True musicianship at its finest.  Which, at the price we paid for the tickets, I'm pleased we got our value.  I was a dumb shit and didn't bring any ear plugs because Heather shamed me out of it.  My ears are still not back to normal 17 hours later.  I can detect some mild improvement, but I'm annoyed at myself.  Next time the ear plugs are a must.

the reality of personal relationship

“Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.” ~ Thomas Merton

Too Much

I'm thoroughly disgusted and dissatisfied with my body. I have a self-image problem, and I admit it, but I also have a weight problem. I lost a little more than 30 lbs. since January 2004, but in late July/early August, I've gained 5 of them back. My mind knows that I shouldn't eat some of the things that I do, or at least not in the quantities that I do, but I have become too weak to control my impulses yet again.

I hereby vow to follow the rules:
(1) No eating anything after 7:00 p.m.
(2) Severely restrict refined sugars of all kinds
(3) Exercise at least 3 times a week

I want to buy new clothes in December, and I want them to be smaller.